Register    Login    Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » Off Topic » GENERAL FANFIC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Here & Now ( fic )
 Post Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:04 pm 
Offline
New Student
New Student
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:43 pm
Posts: 288
Location: N.Ireland
Idea popped into my head after listening to something which made me come up with this fic and would like feedback from u lot.

Title : Here & Now
Rating : PG13ish
Pairing : Lauri & Kate plus the guys
Summary : Kate is dating Aki but soon discovers feelings for Lauri and they embark on a steamy affair but do they get caught and does Aki find out?

Read To Find Out

Chapter 1
..............

Aki and Kate had been together for 3yrs and Aki knew that Kate was the only girl for him and Aki's bandmates all liked Kate but mainly with Lauri who took a real shine to Kate and she knew Lauri was a good lookin guy and after Aki and Kate returned home from the studio they had a massive row which resulted in Aki lashing out at Kate with his hand which went across Kate's left cheek and Kate looked up at Aki with tears runnin down her face and Kate grabbed her jacket and keys and walked out of Aki's apartment and headed over to Lauri's place on the outside of Helsinki where she knew that Lauri would look after her until Aki calmed down. Kate arrived at Lauri's and knocked on his front door and waited for Lauri to open it and once Lauri opened the door and found Kate there in tears and Lauri let Kate inside and Lauri saw the red mark on Kate's cheek and asked her what happened and Kate told Lauri that she had a row with Aki and he lashed out, Lauri gave Kate a hug and told her that she was safe with him and after a couple of hours Lauri kissed Kate outta the blue and walked back into the kitchen embrassed and Lauri heard footsteps and turned round and saw Kate stood in the doorway and Kate walked over to Lauri and took his hand and rested it on her back and Lauri pulled Kate into his body and Kate asks Lauri to kiss her and so Lauri softly kissed Kate who slipped her hands up Lauri's top and Kate told Lauri that she has feelings for him and Lauri admits that he has the same feelings and Lauri suggests to Kate that they begin an affair.

Kate knew that an affair with Lauri would be fun and Kate agreed at Lauri's suggestion and Lauri lead Kate by the hand upstairs to the bedroom where their secret affair would begin and once inside, Lauri and Kate started ripping each other's clothes off and Lauri's hands softly touched Kate's skin and this made Kate smile and Lauri got underneath the duvet and Kate joined Lauri under the duvet and Lauri started kissing Kate's collarbone and his hands rubbing Kate's arms and stomach and Lauri asks Kate if they can go all the way with protection and Kate agrees to have protected sex with Lauri and Lauri reaches out for a condom from the drawer and Kate smiles at Lauri who smirks with a cheeky grin and Lauri slips on the condom after takin off his black boxers and takes Kate's underwear off and slowly enters Kate who puts her hands on the base of Lauri's back and Lauri is gentle with Kate who enjoys havin protected sex with Lauri. After they do the dirty Kate falls asleep on Lauri's chest and Lauri's phone vibrates and Lauri picks it up and sees the caller id is Aki and so Lauri answers the call to Aki who asks Lauri if he has seen Kate and Lauri lies to Aki and tells him that he hasnt seen Kate and so Aki tells his friend what he did to Kate and Lauri secretly knew that Aki had hurt Kate as she had told him and now was asleep on his chest..

Aki hangs up and Lauri falls asleep with Kate next to him and they remain that way until the next day when Lauri wakes up and kisses Kate on the head and she then wakes up and looks up at Lauri who tells her that Aki rang lookin for her and Kate asks Lauri what he told Aki and so Lauri tells Kate that he lied and told Aki that he hadnt seen Kate but deep down Lauri knew that he had betrayed his best friend by sleepin with Kate and Lauri kept a tight hold of Kate and told her that their affair would be the best and Kate knew that Lauri was right and they shared a kiss which got really passionate between them and Kate got up and dressed but Lauri pulled Kate down onto the bed for a final kiss and Lauri tells Kate that he cant wait to see her again and Kate promises Lauri that he will see her soon and Kate tells Lauri that next time it has to be outside Helsinki in a place where nobody knows them. Kate goes back to Aki's and enters to find Aki on the sofa and Aki looks up and sees Kate there and Aki asks Kate where she stayed last night and Kate tells Aki that she was at her mum's place but Kate knew deep down that she had the best night of passion with Lauri.

More to come FEEDBACK NEEDED
Would like to know what your thoughts are on this fic

_________________
Image
07/06/2009 & 06/06/2010 - Best Days Ever!! Kiitos Jari-Matti


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Here & Now ( fic )
 Post Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:03 am 
Offline
Staff Team
Staff Team
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:30 pm
Posts: 31630
They all sound as bad as each other I think, felt sorry for her at first but that soon went! Lol I think it has a good concept and would make a good fic wondering if they got caught out etc and does 1 lie lead to many more. My only suggestion would be try not to make the sentences as long..I tend to read things out loud when reading things and they are quite long winded rather than using "and" to much I would just shorten the sentences and use more fullstops lol. I am no expect on fanfics though.

_________________
Image
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Here & Now ( fic )
 Post Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:53 pm 
Offline
New Student
New Student
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:43 pm
Posts: 288
Location: N.Ireland
Yeah i have this fic on a another forum and things do get cruel and might use a few dark chapters through it and i do write fan fics quite a lot and i'm also doing a 5 part fic which is not easy as it's a sad one as the first part was when Lauri lost his girlfriend and waits two years to find someone.

_________________
Image
07/06/2009 & 06/06/2010 - Best Days Ever!! Kiitos Jari-Matti


Top 
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

Board index » Off Topic » GENERAL FANFIC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron